Boost Your Community Building Skills with CMJ's Ultimate Reading List: 2019-2024 Edition
For the past five years, I've had the pleasure of curating recommended reading lists to help cultivate stronger online communities. As we mark a half-decade of growth, I wanted to revisit my top book picks across the years and celebrate their insights.
Each title offers guidance proven to uplift communities and the people within them. I've organized selections by year of release and provided brief highlights to inspire your exploration.
Whether a seasoned facilitator or newcomer to the field, you're sure to find wisdom applicable to your goals.
2019
Behind the Screen: Content Moderation in the Shadows of Social Media by Sarah T. Roberts
Link to purchase via Yale University Press
I'm a huge fan of Sarah T. Roberts, and I'm not afraid to admit it. She writes about digital labor, capitalism, and the future of content on the Internet. What I love most about her writing is how approachable and vivid it is, despite her being an accomplished academic. Her book provides an introduction to content moderation, both volunteer and paid, that is necessary to keep the internet safe and viewable, without any hateful, horrifying, or traumatic content. The book discusses various ways in which sites are moderated and the labor implications of each. If you manage, hire, or work with content moderators, this book will give you a lot of useful information and insights to apply in your work.
The Second Mountain by David Brooks
Link to purchase via Bookshop.org
Brooks has written a new book that covers both professional and personal aspects of life. He presents a unique idea that there are two mountains that people can climb in their lives. The first mountain is the one that everyone climbs where they desire to achieve success, make money, and climb the corporate ladder. However, only a few move on to the second mountain, which is a more fulfilling one. According to Brooks, the great thinkers, community builders, and creators climb this second mountain. He provides us with questions that can help us identify what our second mountain might be. This book is inspiring, poetic, and vivid- which showcases Brooks' writing at its best.
Small Creatures Such as We: Rituals for Finding Meaning in Our Unlikely World by Sasha Sagan
Link to purchase via Bookshop.org
Ahh, rituals. There is no explicit guide to creating community rituals (let alone online community rituals) outside of a spiritual context. This book gets us much closer and weaves stories of rituals within cultures that I had never known about before. Rituals are essential in our lives and communities, and this book will inspire you with lots of new ideas and connect you to our shared human history of rituals. Like other books that deal with rituals, it may be quite broad in its discussions, but you will find ways to apply what you learn to your specific professional context. Also a fun fact: Sasha Sagan is Carl Sagan’s daughter, and the stories about him are heart-warming and deeply moving!
People Powered by Jono Bacon
Link to purchase via Bookshop.org
Jono Bacon writes his second book about communities (a follow-up to his The Art of Community). This one is an overview of his framework for building communities. Using his depth and breadth of experience with developer and open-source communities (Github, Ubuntu, and more), he packs this book with wisdom and wry humor. Though at times you may find that Bacon’s definition of community spans across many types of groups (is it a network? A marketplace? A neighborhood? An open-source project’s contributors?), this book contains solid advice, especially for newcomers. A good read to share with your team if you are starting from scratch or hiring new team members in 2020.
Bonus: The Art of Gathering by Priya Parker
Link to purchase via Bookshop.org
Technically this book came out in 2018, but the paperback released in 2019, so I had to sneak it in. Parker shares both broad and specific tactics and strategies for gathering people. The book is filled with vivid stories, applicable principles, and advice that makes you realize you may have been thinking of your work all wrong but that there’s a way to fix it.
2020
The Business of Friendship by Shasta Nelson
Link to purchase via Bookshop.org
Shasta Nelson’s book is a new go-to guide for those building employee communities and enterprise social networks. Shasta shares the three requirements of all friendships and how to make them happen effectively at work. She also makes a compelling business case for the importance of friendship at work. Any internal community manager can use that business case to convince the C-Suite of their employee community’s significance. We can all learn from how Shasta Nelson explains the value of friendship in clear, practical terms that everyone understands.
How We Show Up by Mia Birdsong
Link to purchase via Bookshop.org
Through personal experience and extensive interviews with community builders and community members, Mia Birdsong shares a narrative of our deep interdependence. She establishes a case for the necessity of the work we do in building communities. This book will bring you inspiration, motivation, and a deeper, grounded meaning to the work you do each day.
Black Software: The Internet & Racial Justice, from the AfroNet to Black Lives Matter by Charlton D. McIlwain
Link to purchase via Bookshop.org
In Black Software, Charlton McIlwain shares stories that otherwise may have been lost to the detriment of those of us who build online communities today. His book tells stories of Black leaders who shaped the internet as we know it today, including community builder Anita Brown, the co-founder of Black Geeks Online in the mid-90s and a mostly unsung hero of the online community world.
Through detailed histories of these creators and builders, Charlton demonstrates that justice-related community organizing online is nothing new. It sparked in the earliest days of the internet’s history by Black engineers, politicians, students, and business people, including Derrick Brown, Maxine Waters, and Ken Onwere. All our work ties back to this early history. This book can help ground your understanding of community work in a historical context.
We Should Get Together by Kat Vellos
Link to purchase via Bookshop.org
Kat’s work bridges adult friendships with organizational culture, design, and social justice. Her book We Should Get Together was the first book I read in 2020, ordering it hot off the presses the day it was published. Thank goodness that was the case because her advice helped me apply community-building knowledge to my personal life when needed: I strengthened existing friendships and created new ones that have helped sustain me digitally through the pandemic. The list of questions at the end of the book is also an incredible resource you can use to start conversations with your community members and friends. This book is a true gift to community builders.
We Will Not Cancel Us by adrienne maree brown
Link to purchase on Bookshop.org
On March 8, 2020, the day the World Health Organization declared COVID-19 a pandemic, I ordered the book Emergent Strategy from my local bookstore. I needed a book to bring solace and an approach to strategy that gave flexibility without flakiness or harm. Through that book and her ever-insightful Instagram account, adrienne maree brown’s work opened up a world of necessary new thinking for me in 2020.
In this new book, she addresses “cancel culture,” which impacts our community work whether we realize it or not. She gives us space and permission to sit in the dissonance required to hold people accountable for the harm they have perpetrated and embrace that harm’s victims with hope and healing. We Will Not Cancel Us is the kind of nuanced, complicated book we need to navigate the complex work of community moderation and leadership.
Good Talk by Daniel Stillman: How to Design Conversations that Matter
Link to purchase on Bookshop.org
Daniel Stillman has had a significant impact on the way we work at The CMJ Group. Kelly and I participated in his facilitation masterclass in 2020, and his book has been an invaluable resource for many of our workshops. The book outlines his approach to handling crucial conversations with people who matter to you. It not only changes your perspective on work but also provides practical and tactical advice for making actual changes to how you approach these situations.
Building Brand Communities: How Organizations Succeed by Creating Belonging by Carrie Melissa Jones and Charles H. Vogl
Link to purchase on Bookshop.org
Yes, I am recommending my own book. Yes, that might make me look like a self-involved jerk. Or narcissistic. Or a narcissistic, self-involved jerk. But, hey, we’ve gotta toot our own horn every so often!
I have included it because of my deep commitment to building online communities. Charles and I wrote this book for you. The book is for you if you’re an organizational leader wondering what community means or a seasoned community builder in need of a handy reference guide and teaching resource.
Feel free to use this as a book you can send to your boss so they finally “get” what community means in their organization. Or as a doorstop. Your pick.
2021
Atlas of the Heart: Mapping Meaningful Connection and the Language of Human Experience by Brené Brown, PhD, MSW
Link to purchase on Bookshop.org
Dr. Brown’s much-anticipated book arrived at the close of 2021, and it could not have come at a better time. Think of it as a reference guide for dealing with your own or others’ states of emotional well-being. In this book, she compiles and curates her own and others’ research on the immense topic of human emotions. The book’s design is awe-inspiring; it could be a coffee table book and a reference resource. And it’s a departure from Dr. Brown’s previous work, which is primarily narrative-driven. This guide was developed to be picked up and put down whenever you need it (rather than reading it cover-to-cover). Read the introductory material and browse the rest of the book when it feels right. It’s like having a friendly social scientist by your side to help you navigate our complex emotional landscapes. In today’s world, nothing could be more important.
Social Chemistry: Decoding the Patterns of Human Connection by Marissa King, PhD
Link to purchase on Bookshop.org
Allow me to preface this recommendation by saying that the subject matter was my graduate research and inquiry area: If you only read one work-related book this year, make it this one. It is filled with stories, research (that never reads as stodgy), and applications for our work. This book, written by Yale Professor Dr. Marissa King, will open your eyes to the social science of connection and networks. Through this book, you’ll see the big picture about the social science of networking—and why some forms of connection expand our communities, and others keep us stuck.
Together: The Healing Power of Connection in a Sometimes Lonely World by Vivek Murthy, MD
Link to purchase on Bookshop.org
United States Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy is one of the most influential American medical figures to declare loneliness an epidemic. Since his declaration in 2017, the epidemic has worsened, and today, we need answers for how to move forward (I wrote about that topic for community builders in 2020). Dr. Murthy defines the problem clearly and outlines some potential solutions at the individual and cultural levels. If you are curious about how the “Loneliness Epidemic” may be impacting your work, this is a must-read.
Digital Body Language: How to Build Trust and Connection, No Matter the Distance by Erica Dhawan
Link to purchase on Bookshop.org
Erica Dhawan tried to publish this book for many years. But it wasn’t until the pandemic left us with little to choose but digital connection that this book got the green light. We are lucky it did! If you’re building online communities today and you want to get better at communicating digitally, this will be a helpful guide for you. As Dhawan puts it, the book “decodes the signals and cues of who gets heard, who gets credit, and what gets done in our ever-changing world.” This book is an especially great primer for those who are newer to digital connection—especially those who never believed it was possible to create meaningful relationships online until recently.
The Purpose of Power: How We Come Together When We Fall Apart by Alicia Garza
Link to purchase on Bookshop.org
Garza, one of the founders of the Black Lives Matter movement, writes a compelling story of community organizing. She traces her community organizer roots back to her upbringing in California and traces the historical roots of today’s racial tensions over the last twenty-plus years. This book is a powerful read about what is possible when we work together—even if your work (ostensibly) has nothing to do with racial justice.
Mediocre: The Dangerous Legacy of White Male America by Ijeoma Oluo
Link to purchase on Bookshop.org
Though focused on American history, this book presents a compelling case for why we now face a leadership crisis globally. Ijeoma Oluo, the author of So You Want to Talk About Race, writes passionately and personally about these issues and how we got to where we are today. Oluo helps delineate between leadership that seeks to grab credit and fuel egos and leadership that lifts us all up. The latter is the kind of leadership we community builders should be practicing. It’s important to know what it looks like—and what it does not.
Pre-Suasion: A Revolutionary Way to Influence and Persuade by Robert Cialdini, PhD
Link to purchase on Bookshop.org
In his long-awaited follow-up to Influence, Dr. Robert Cialdini discusses how to create the ideal conditions for priming audiences and making them more receptive to influence and change. I recommend this read if you struggle to understand why your community isn’t working quite right. It is a comprehensive guide to setting the stage for influence, although I would have preferred that he included a more robust primer on the ethics of influence. These ideas on their own are neutral, but their application never is.
One of my key takeaways was this statement: “Our ability to create change in others is often and importantly grounded in shared personal relationships, which create a pre-suasive context for assent.” This helps explain why community builders and organizers effectively create large-scale change over time. And it goes to show the power of our often unscalable work of deepening real relationships.
2022
The Crux: How Leaders Become Strategists by Richard P. Rumelt
Link to purchase on Bookshop.org
There are certain words in our work, such as “strategy,” “community,” or “engagement,” that many use but rarely define. This book helps us understand that first word, “strategy,” with more rigor and clarity than any previous book I’ve read on the subject.
Communities need strategies in order to be successful. The Crux does a great job of demystifying the application of “challenge-based strategy.” As Rumelt states, strategy and its resulting actions, policies, purposes, and initiatives “are rarely written or spoken about with honesty.” I found this book refreshing and galvanizing, as it breaks down the long-held wisdom about strategy creation that never made sense to me (e.g., “Start with goals”) and gives a plan for moving forward while making it clear that this is just one approach of many. I recommend this book to anyone looking to rise into an organizational leadership role, become a strategist, or start a business in the coming years.
How We Heal: Uncover Your Power and Set Yourself Free by Alexandra Elle
Link to purchase on Bookshop.org
After years of coaching and guiding many community professionals, I have noticed common threads of self-doubt, negative self-talk, fear, and anxiety among many of us. I can see these patterns clearly because I have struggled so intimately with them. In How We Heal, Alexandra Elle discusses these challenges and invites readers on a four-step healing journey. This book is practical, approachable, and kind and can steer you toward deeper confidence and groundedness.
Rest Is Resistance: A Manifesto by Tricia Hersey
Link to purchase on Bookshop.org
Burnout is a common occurrence in the community profession, but it doesn’t have to be. And the solution to burnout is not just short-term rest; it’s a shift in our long-term orientation toward work. In Rest is Resistance, Hersey speaks from her experience as a Black woman and the founder of Nap Ministry. She shares her own personal story and connects our current burnout culture to a longer history of oppression. This beautiful book reminds us of the power of rest and invites us to imagine what the world could be like if we resist dominant cultural narratives.
The Accidental Community Manager by Adrian Speyer
Link to purchase on various retailers.
Adrian Speyer has finally documented the years of community knowledge he’s accumulated. I was a lucky early reader of the book and can attest that even with years of experience, I learned so much from reading Adrian’s stories and lessons. Highly recommended for both new and experienced community professionals, this book will be sure to be a go-to reference for years to come.
2023
Note: the list is a little shorter this year because I brought a baby into the world! Didn’t get as much reading done, but it was obviously worth it.
The Persuaders by Anand Giridharadas
Link to purchase on Bookshop.org
It took me all year to finish this book (it’s dense, and I had a baby in 2023!), but it was well worth it. Giridharadas (husband to Priya Parker, whose book The Art of Gathering is a must-read) documents how social change is happening today and the kind of fortitude, patience, and relational orientation we need to see it through. I found myself sharing the stories he captured with more than a few of my clients.
Coaching from Essence by Robert Ellis
Link to purchase on Bookshop.org
Robert Ellis is a coach and mentor to some of the leaders who I deeply admire, including Daniel Stillman, the author of Good Talk. Although the book is aimed at coaches, it is relevant to anyone who sees themselves as a leader and wants to connect more deeply with their work in the world. During a time of great turmoil, I found it to be grounding. We may not always know where we're headed, but a great coach (sometimes ourselves) can help us get there. If you follow Ellis on LinkedIn, you may know that he is battling terminal cancer and has made the Kindle version of the book FREE, so the work can find those who most need it. While you can absolutely take advantage of that offer, you can also support him and his legacy financially by purchasing the book via the link above.
Right Kind of Wrong: The Science of Failing Well by Amy Edmonson
Link to purchase on Bookshop.org
Amy Edmonson, who introduced the concept of "psychological safety", has published another insightful work that synthesizes her and other researchers' findings on failure. It's important to remember that we don't really fail as long as we learn something from the experience, and in her book, she explains how we can change our perspective on failure, and approach our work with confidence and a grounded mindset. I was pleasantly surprised to find that the book's insights were also applicable to parenting.
Extremely Online by Taylor Lorenz: The Untold Story of Fame, Influence, and Power on the Internet
Link to purchase on Bookshop.org
Y’all. I absolutely adore this book. It's deeply relevant to our current context of distrust, late-stage capitalism, and the shift from social media to more closed community spaces. I think part of the reason I connect with it so much is because it hits so close to home for me personally. Many of us grew up with many of the creators that the author talks about, and we’ve seen the ups and downs, excitement, and disappointment that this history has wrought.
The book's central argument is that the creator economy owes a huge debt to previously invisible and often marginalized female creators, particularly mommy bloggers, who paved the way for what is now a billion-dollar industry. This concept helps to explain the many gatherings centered around creators, the entire economy that has blossomed alongside them, and why online communities are going to be crucial spaces for the future.
Community is ours to shape. May these works spark reflection and empower us as we continue fostering connection worldwide. I hope the perspectives shared here strengthen your skills as a community builder. Let the learning continue!
