Witnessing Missed Opportunities for Connection
Note: This post originally appeared in the Gather Community Consulting Newsletter.
I just got back from my first academic conference - the National Communication Association Conference - in Baltimore, MD. The conference gathers thousands of researchers, faculty members, graduate students, and association leaders to share the latest communication research.
I relished the opportunity to step back from my day-to-day and think bigger picture. But conference-going can be tough for a professional community builder. You see all the possibilities for connection missed, the decisions that organizers make in the name of efficiency rather than relationship-building.
For instance, I attended a newcomer's breakfast. What a great idea: bring new members together with mentors over breakfast! Except the breakfast was held at 8 AM, during a slew of other programs like panels and meetings.
The hour-long event allowed little time for conversation. Organizers announced they created "newcomer" badges for our nametags, but then left them in a single box in the back of the room, rather than gifting them to us personally. Mentors sat at each table but held no clear roles, responsibilities, or symbols of status. We were encouraged to play a "bingo" game to meet five people throughout the conference in exchange for a prize (an "NCA Mentor" token), turning meeting people into a game with a token that meant nothing if you were new to the organization.
Sigh.
Conference-going can be tough for a professional community builder.
Through the eyes of a community builder, you can see how often and why connection opportunities get missed.
Each day, we come into contact with people. We have an opportunity to stop for a moment and connect, or move about our day and finish our infinite to-do lists.
I will be the first to admit that I still often opt for the latter. Everything moves so fast. It is a radical act of resistance these days to slow down and connect with others. Not for the "return on investment" it might have for you or your organization. Not for the serendipity that may come from it, and how it might lead to positive things. But to connect for the pleasure and joy of it.
It can be exhausting to be present to opportunities for connection in a world that highly values production, outcomes, and efficiency. Yet that is our work.
It can be exhausting to be present to opportunities for connection in a world that highly values production, outcomes, and efficiency. Yet that is our work.
As November cascades into December, I see a lot of exhaustion in myself and those around me. 2019 has been a marathon year, closing out a decade in which technology accelerated our pace of life and possibilities exponentially.
I want to take a moment to remind you that you should be proud of all you have achieved this year. Despite setbacks and challenges, you are here.
If you are feeling proud of achieving but a little disconnected from your community and relationships, you are not alone.
I invite you to rest and allow yourself to integrate all the work of the year. Give yourself a moment to grieve or feel grateful. To keep in mind the relationships you have nurtured and those you have pushed away and to be where you are. Do nothing with that information. Just be with it.
After all, there is no perfect balance. Connection and production do not sit on opposite ends of a spectrum, even though it sometimes seems that way. Remember that we all know what it feels like to be disconnected and alone.
Achieving and striving for more will never mend our collective wounds. Only relationships can do that.
Start there.
Your friendly neighborhood community builder ⭐
Carrie Melissa Jones
Founder, Gather Community Consulting
What's New with Gather
I wrote about what the future could hold for Meetup.
Two weeks ago, Meetup experienced massive layoffs. My heart goes out to all those affected by the layoffs. If that includes you, reply to this email and I will keep an eye out for job opportunities on your behalf.
The Zebra community wrote a piece about how Meetup could become a worker-owned cooperative.
